


Fensterln

by merlypops



Series: Beautiful Words - 5SOS Stories [10]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Accidental Plot, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Childhood, Coming In Pants, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominant Michael, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, First Kiss, First Love, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, Foreplay, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Homophobia, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Submissive Calum, Underage Masturbation, Underage Sex, malum, unsupportive parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-10
Updated: 2014-09-10
Packaged: 2018-02-16 21:19:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2284818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'“I’m never going to leave you, Cal-Pal. Not in a million years.” Michael remembers pressing another kiss to Calum’s lips then and feeling him respond this time. “I love you too.”'</p><p>
  <b>Michael and Calum share their first kiss in secret when they're eleven... and things kind of escalate from there.</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fensterln

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so I just wrote 13 pages of what is essentially just fluff, smut and a bit of angst, and for that I'm sorry.  
> Um... I... am really embarrassed now.  
> Bye! Enjoy hopefully!  
> (Oh my god. *hides*)

**fensterln**

_when you have to climb through someone’s window in order to have sex with them without their parents knowing about it_

 

Michael Clifford had never been a particularly sporty person but he found that, where his best friend Calum Hood was concerned, he could often be persuaded to make an exception.

Michael remembers when he was eleven.

Michael remembers the first time he climbed the tree in Calum’s garden. He remembers how, halfway up, he happened to glance back into his own garden next door and see his mum pegging the washing out. Michael remembers gripping the branches of the tree tightly and praying to a god he didn’t believe in that he wouldn’t be seen. Michael remembers how _exciting_ it felt, especially when his mum went back indoors and he climbed high enough to rap on the glass.

Michael remembers the sickening feeling in his stomach when he almost fell as he scrambled through Calum’s open window, but he also remembers how Calum’s hand wrapped firmly around his wrist and hauled him up, and Michael remembers realising that he was _safe_ with Calum. (He thinks he might always feel a bit like that.)

Michael remembers how he _literally_ fell on top of Calum as he scrambled through the window, and he remembers Calum’s muffled laughter as he covered his face with his hands so that his parents wouldn’t hear. (Michael remembers how it was because Calum was grounded and wasn’t supposed to be having friends round, and Michael remembers how Calum had sounded _so_ upset over a super-secret Skype call they had had at two in the morning a few nights before that Michael had promised to come round and see Calum.)

“Did I miss anything fun yesterday after school?” Michael remembers Calum asking, and Michael had sat down on the edge of Calum’s bed and thought for a few moments.

“Well…” Michael remembers thinking for a few moments before shrugging half-heartedly as Calum hopped up on the bed beside him and sat cross-legged. “Only thing I’ve done without you is go to the park with Luke and Aleisha on the way home from school.” Michael remembers chewing his lip then and glancing at Calum before softly adding: “They kissed, you know.”

Michael remembers Calum’s small, shocked sound and the way his cheeks flushed as he looked down at the YuGiOh cards littering his bedroom floor. Michael remembers how he followed his best friend’s gaze, looking at the bright colours contrasting with the soft tan of his carpet, and Michael remembers knowing what Calum was thinking and shrugging slightly.

“Doesn’t _matter_ , Cal,” Michael remembers saying fairly. “Mum says we’re quite young and stuff. Doesn’t matter if you’ve never kissed someone. I haven’t either.” Michael remembers how he shrugged again for good measure, blinking his emerald green eyes when the sun shining in through the window reflected off the mirror on Calum’s desk and hurt his eyes.

Michael remembers that Calum was watching him when he opened his eyes again, and he remembers the way Calum said: “You have _really_ long eyelashes, Mikey” and how Michael blushed and felt a bit like he had butterflies although he couldn’t have explained why at the time.

(Later, Michael would come to realise that it was because he had had a certain sense of… not _foreboding_ exactly… but the knowledge that _Something_ – with a capital S – was going to happen.)

Michael remembers Calum asking: “Are _you_ worried about your first kiss too?” in a tiny little voice, and Michael remembers going even _more_ red and shrugging uncomfortably, even though he was relieved that Calum had said ‘ _too_ ’.

“Little bit, maybe,” Michael remembers mumbling. He remembers how he glanced up at Calum from beneath his golden eyelashes, his bottom lip held between his teeth. Michael remembers how Calum reached out shakily with one finger and poked it until Michael stopped biting it.

Michael remembers how Calum gave a small, shaky laugh then that sounded forced.

“Wish there was some sort of way to just… to just get it over with, you know?”

Michael remembers how his eyebrows rose at Calum’s words, surprised at the younger boy’s false bravado, and Michael remembers how he forced himself to appear calmer than he actually was as he gave another little shrug.

“We could… um… I… I mean… I mean, you and I could… could _kiss_ , Cal… If... if you just wanted to get it out of the way.”

Michael remembers how Calum’s chocolate brown eyes widened to truly enormous proportions, so big and shocked that Michael had been worried they were going to fall right out of his head and roll across the floor, and Michael remembers how a tiny, _tiny_ smile touched Calum’s lips before he quickly smothered it down.

“Sure we could if… if you don’t mind.”

Michael remembers getting a bit irritated with how the conversation was going _nowhere_ and simply tensing up like he was being made to play football or something.

He remembers leaning forwards clumsily and staring at Calum with round, slightly frightened eyes before firmly pressing their mouths together. Michael remembers how his hands were fisted in Calum’s duvet and how it was less of a first kiss and more of some sort of planned _head-butt_ , and he remembers how Calum giggled and pulled away.

“Think it’s meant to be slower, Mikey,” Calum had joked and Michael remembers pretending to be offended to hide his embarrassment when he blurted out: “Well you kiss _me_ then, if you’re so clever!” and he remembers how Calum did exactly that.

Michael remembers how soft his lips felt and how it was _much_ nicer than just crashing their faces together, and Michael remembers how he could actually feel Calum’s eyelashes fluttering on his cheeks before his eyes closed and Michael remembers how his own closed against his better judgement and how kissing Calum was… _strange_.

Michael remembers how they pulled back a little, giggling breathlessly, and the way Calum’s nose brushed his, and Michael remembers rolling his eyes fondly and sitting back, a thoughtful expression on his face.

He remembers how he jokingly said: “Not _bad_ ” and the way Calum went: “Oi, Clifford!” and smacked him around the head with his pillow, and Michael remembers laughing and ruffling Calum’s hair before he got up, skirted around the YuGiOh cards and headed for the window with an: “I’ll Skype you after lunch.”

Michael remembers how he climbed down the tree and hurried across the garden before scrambling over the fence to his own. He remembers seeing Calum jokingly waving a tissue (he didn’t have a handkerchief apparently) around, looking like a princess trapped in a tower, and Michael remembers snickering with laughter as he rolled his eyes and headed inside, simply relieved that nothing seemed to have changed between them at all.

*

Michael remembers when he was fourteen because that was the next time he and Calum did anything that was a little bit _more_ than just best friends messing around.

He remembers how neither of them had kissed anyone since and Michael remembers how, lately, he’d kind of been wanting to try it again.

Michael’s pretty sure that Luke’s older friend Ashton is to blame. He’s maybe two years older than them and he likes to regale them with tales of how far he’s got with people. (Michael remembers how it’s actually not that far at _all_ but that they were teenage boys and that pretty much equated to being impressed.)

Michael remembers when he hesitantly suggested this to Calum at one of their sleepovers on a Friday night, and he remembers Calum’s purposefully nonchalant shrug as he swallowed reflexively, pulling his duvet closer around him.

(Michael remembers how the pair were both sleeping under separate duvets on a big mattress covering Calum’s floor, just like they always did, and Michael remembers how they’d had a tickle fight earlier that evening which had ended up with Calum accidentally kicking his Guitar Hero set at Michael’s head, and Michael remembers how much they’d both laughed at that.)

“We could if you wanted to,” Calum had said in a voice of forced calm. “I mean… we didn’t really do much last time. Don’t want to get to the age of fifteen without a _real_ first kiss, _right_?” Michael remembers how the last word was more of a squeak really, and he also remembers how fucking _cute_ it was and how his fondness must have shown on his face because Calum went red and looked down at his hands as he fiddled with his fingers.

Michael remembers shuffling forwards in a decidedly unappealing manner (and the small snort of laughter that escaped Calum when he saw Michael’s less-than-smooth approach) and Michael remembers how he tapped Calum lightly on the chin to get him to look up and then hesitated.

“Don’t head-butt me in the face again please,” Calum had joked and Michael remembers how his breath caught in his throat because this felt _scarier_ this time, more real. “Stop thinking, Mikey,” he remembers Calum whispering. “Just _feel_.”

Michael remembers how fucking _good_ that advice was.

He remembers how Calum’s hand crept up cautiously to stroke his cheek and Michael remembers how he lightly threaded his fingers into Calum’s soft, dark hair. Michael remembers how everything was the same as last time at first, although perhaps a little gentler, a little less rushed maybe, but Calum’s lips were still firmly pressed together and Michael remembers how he parted his own just a _tiny_ bit, so that one of Calum’s lips fit between his own.

Michael remembers when Calum’s tongue brushed against his lips ever so slightly and Michael remembers the thrill of _something_ shooting through him.

Michael remembers how he gasped and Calum’s tongue pushed a little further into his mouth, and Michael remembers how his arms somehow came up to wrap around Calum’s neck as Michael’s tongue followed Calum’s. He remembers how the younger boy gave this little sigh and kissed him back harder as his fingers began to stroke through Michael’s blond, flyaway hair, and Michael remembers a peculiar rushing feeling as a hole inside of his chest that he hadn’t realised even _existed_ was filled with warmth again.

Michael remembers how _sweet_ Calum’s mouth tasted, a bit like peppermint and the almond biscuits his mum made, and Michael remembers how he was getting breathless and his head was beginning to spin a bit, and he remembers how they finally parted, both of them panting a little bit as they both sat – practically nose to nose – on the mattress on Calum’s bedroom floor.

Michael remembers how he sucked lightly on Calum’s bottom lip as he pulled away, although he was unsure of what had made him do it, and he remembers the tiny moan that escaped Calum before he covered his mouth with his hands in shock, still breathless as he leant forwards and rested his forehead on Michael’s shoulder.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Michael remembers Calum murmuring shakily, and Michael remembers how he was very much inclined to agree.

“Shoulda done that _ages_ ago,” Michael remembers whispering before he could stop himself, and he remembers the relief that rushed through him when Calum made a small, amused noise and sat back, tilting his head to one side.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you _enjoyed_ that, Clifford.”

Michael remembers rolling his eyes because couldn’t Calum see that now was a _really_ bad time to tease him?

“Shut up and kiss me again,” Michael remembers saying, only half-joking, and he remembers Calum giving him a stern look until Michael pouted and mumbled: “ _Please_ , Callie?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” Calum had said and, with that, their lips had met once more.

Michael remembers how they didn’t go to sleep that night for a _very_ long time.

*

Michael remembers when they were fifteen and they both decided to come out.

Michael remembers how the relief of his mum being so cool about it quickly gave way to _dismay_ when Calum rang him crying one evening. Michael remembers the _panic_ he felt at hearing Calum sobbing so hard he couldn’t breathe as he stammered out multiple versions of: “ _I’m sorry, this is my fault, I’m so sorry_ ” as Michael clutched the phone to his ear like a lifeline.

He remembers urgently telling Calum: “Don’t move, don’t do anything! I’m coming over!” and he remembers Calum’s feeble, shaky: “Mikey, _no_! You can’t come in downstairs!” and Michael remembers how he bit his lip and then tried to sound calmer than he felt when he said: “Then I’ll climb.”

He remembers rushing downstairs, telling his mum he was staying at Calum’s that night – he remembers how she simply agreed, her emerald green eyes wide, because even _she_ could see the urgency on his face as he hurriedly kissed her goodnight and pulled his trainers on – and he remembers running out into the garden and pretending to leave through the back gate so his mum wouldn’t worry before quickly doubling back, scrambling over the fence, and climbing up the tree in Calum’s garden.

He remembers how Calum’s window was already a little bit open when he climbed as high as he could safely, and Michael remembers how Calum wasn’t waiting at the window for once and how that sent alarm bells ringing.

Michael remembers scrambling up and thinking vaguely that his PE teacher would _never_ believe this after he had been unable to climb the ropes last year, and Michael remembers the hiss of pain that escaped him as he scraped both of his knees on the underside of Calum’s window ledge, and Michael remembers when he fell into Calum’s bedroom again, just like he had the first time.

Michael remembers how he found Calum sitting crying on his bed as an All Time Low song played loudly from his CD player, muffling the noise, and Michael remembers the surge of anger he felt when he learnt that, to put it mildly, Calum’s dad “ _wasn’t happy about his son being gay but it wasn’t his decision, even if he_ did _disagree with it_ ” which, okay, would have been bad enough on its _own_ , except he’d apparently continued with: “ _and I’m not letting that Clifford kid in my son’s bedroom anymore. You’re not to invite him round ever again. It’s disgusting_ ”.

Michael remembers the pain and the shocked tears that welled up in his eyes then because he felt like the floor had been ripped out from beneath his feet and, _yep_ , okay, now he was crying too.

Michael remembers how Calum got up really slowly and approached the older boy with his hands outstretched, like he was scared Michael was going to run away or something. Michael remembers the broken sob that escaped him when he saw the tears rolling down Calum’s cheeks and the soft, wrecked way he vehemently whispered: “ _Fuck_ him, Mikey. I’m not ever leaving you. Not now, not ever.”

Michael remembers how their lips met with more lust than he could ever remember feeling before, and Michael remembers how he could feel _everything_ : the tears drying on both of their cheeks, the soft touch of Calum’s hair against his forehead, Calum’s hands falling to lock around his waist just as Michael spread his palms across Calum’s back and pressed him closer, the way his eyelashes were spiky with tears, and – _fuck_ , the way Calum slotted their hips together and –

Michael remembers losing his train of thought as he pulled back a little bit, panting as he watched Calum cautiously. He remembers how _obvious_ it was that the boy had been crying, how bruised his lips were as his cheeks flamed with colour in the dark bedroom, the only light coming from the full moon outside and the streetlamps from the road behind their gardens.

Michael remembers choking out a shaky: “ _Fuck_ , Cal. Are you sure?” and the determination on Calum’s face when he pushed Michael towards the narrow sofa bed that had replaced an old chest of drawers in the corner of Calum’s room. Michael remembers how Calum threw himself down on it first, presumably to let Michael know that he could walk away from this at any time, but Michael remembers how there was _no_ chance of that happening now.

He remembers how Calum’s lips found his in the darkness again and Michael remembers how it was suddenly _far_ too hot and his hoody was falling onto the floor. He remembers how he felt heat unfurl in his stomach as Calum pressed up against him and Michael remembers how he had honestly never been this fucking hard in his _life_ and it was all Calum’s fault.

He remembers Calum pulling back so that he could _breathe_ again and Michael remembers using that opportunity to press kisses into Calum’s neck instead, his lips moving down Calum’s throat and coming to a stop at the juncture where Calum’s neck met his shoulder. Michael remembers something overwhelming him again – a bit like when he’d sucked Calum’s lip that time – and he sucked on Calum’s skin _hard_ there, biting it a little and then soothing it with his tongue as Calum whined and bucked up and – _fuck_ – Michael was going to cum in his pants.

“ _Let go_ ,” Michael remembers Calum gasping out and Michael thinks that might have been where he stopped trying to hold back. He remembers grinding his hips against Calum’s, even though the friction was kind of _hurting_ now, and how it wasn’t quite enough, and Michael remembers how it was practically second nature to pull back a little and tap Calum’s zipper with one finger, silently questioning whether this was okay as Michael fought to regain a little composure. (He remembers forcing himself to think about how _sad_ Calum had been on the phone and how much more he needed this than Michael did right about now.)

Michael remembers how Calum’s eyes widened even as he nodded sharply, and Michael remembers undoing the zip with shaking hands and gently cupping Calum through the damp material of his boxers. He remembers the whine that escaped Calum then and Michael remembers how grateful he was that Calum had music playing so loudly.

Michael remembers not _really_ knowing what he was doing but just trying to focus on what he knew _he_ liked. He remembers how wet the tip already felt and how he spread his thumb over it and how Calum hissed, bucking up into his fist, and Michael remembers how his hand started to move then and how Calum looked _beside_ himself as he tossed his head from side to side, clinging to Michael like a drowning man and looking as though he didn’t know what to _do_ because Michael was making him feel too good and it was all getting to be too much.

Michael remembers when his free hand slipped under the hem of Calum’s Green Day t-shirt to stroke his stomach comfortingly as his other hand sped up faster, and he remembers how Calum’s breath hitched as Michael twisted his wrist _just so_ and Michael remembers how they made eye contact in the moments before Calum threw his head back and arched his back with an aborted cry that he quickly tried to muffle and – _yep_ , Michael remembers coming in his pants without even being _touched_.

He remembers sort of falling forwards a bit and ending up on his side on the carpet beside the sofa, and he remembers how he had extended one of his hands to break his fall but how the other one was still resting on Calum’s stomach, more than a little sticky and probably _really_ in need of some soap or something right about now.

“ _Shit, Mikey_. That was fucking _hot_ ,” Michael remembers Calum gasping out several minutes later, and Michael remembers thinking that he couldn’t agree more.

*

Michael remembers when Calum came to stay over at his one time when they were both sixteen, almost seventeen.

Michael can remember it well. His mum had been visiting _her_ mum for a week and had been due back the next day, and Calum’s parents had been on holiday in New Zealand somewhere, leaving Mali-Koa to look after Calum, and Michael remembers kind of loving Calum’s big sister then because she’d let Calum come over to stay with Michael without batting an eyelid.

Michael remembers how they had a really lovely day together – they walked to town hand in hand that morning and ate pizza for lunch, they came back and watched Star Wars: Episode IV, and now they were sitting there trying to decide what else to do before they crossed the gardens to beg Mali to make them dinner since she wasn’t _completely_ incompetent in the kitchen like they were.

Michael remembers when a slow smile suddenly spread across Calum’s face, and Michael got the feeling that he was _really_ going to like whatever Calum had decided he wanted to do now.

“ _What_?” Michael remembers asking cockily and he remembers hoping that he didn’t sound _quite_ as much of a dick as he thought he did. He remembers when Calum rolled his eyes at him which _clearly_ meant he did.

“You’re looking very… _self-satisfied_ ,” Michael remembers Calum saying slowly, his lips twitching a little, and Michael had swallowed reflexively as arousal unfurled in the bottom of his stomach. He remembers how Calum had tilted his head a little to the side, a slight smirk playing across his full lips, and Michael had gripped the sofa tightly with both hands, inexplicably nervous because _he didn’t know what Calum was going to say_. “I’m gonna suck you off, I think.”

Michael remembers making this weird little choking noise because, okay, _what_?! Michael was always the one who suggested new things, not _Calum_ and, shit, it was actually _really fucking hot_.

Michael remembers when Calum leant forwards and started to kiss him, except there was this weird _urgency_ to it this time, and it was making Michael hard faster than ever. He remembers how uncomfortably _tight_ his jeans suddenly felt and how Calum’s hands suddenly seemed to be _everywhere_ and then – _nothing_.

Michael remembers how Calum was sitting about a foot away, a shit-eating grin on his face as Michael panted and stared at Calum with a mixture of amazement and accusation as he gasped out: “ _You fucking tease._ ”

Michael remembers what happened next.

He remembers when Calum slid off the sofa next to him and sank down to his knees on the floor, and Michael remembers how _small_ he felt when Calum gestured for him to sit on the edge of the sofa so that he could reach better.

Michael remembers when Calum undid the zipper of Michael’s jeans with surprisingly steady hands and glanced up at Michael through his eyelashes, and Michael remembers bleating out a desperate, embarrassingly high-pitched: “ _Cal, are you sure?_ ” but he didn’t know if Calum had answered or not because then his brain had shut down and _oh **fuck**_ , that was Calum’s mouth on his dick.

Michael remembers how Calum licked at the head and sucked on it softly, his tongue flicking at the slit, and Michael remembers thinking that he was _actually_ going to cry in a minute because, already, it was too much.

He remembers how Calum pulled back and took Michael’s dick in his hand instead, jerking it slowly as he looked up at him, his full lips parted slightly as Michael gazed at him with an amusing combination of concentration, desire and _love_.

“You look so beautiful like this, Mikey,” Michael remembers Calum whispering and Michael remembers not even being _ashamed_ of the whimper that escaped him because _fuck_ , Calum had just licked from the base to the tip, and he was swirling his tongue on the head now and it was more sensitive than Michael had _ever_ realised and this wasn’t going to take long, not long at _all_.

Michael remembers when Calum licked at the underside as he pulled Michael forwards further, and he remembers how Calum made this little gagging sound but didn’t stop as his free hand crept down to stroke Michael’s balls, and Michael remembers how there were actually _tears_ in his eyes when Calum suddenly sucked harder and – and –

“Cal… Cal, _get off_. I think I’m gonna –”

Michael doesn’t remember so much after that, except for the gentle squeezing of Calum’s throat as he swallowed and how bright his eyes were as he held Michael’s gaze. Michael remembers when Calum pulled back slowly, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and wrinkling his nose a little although he didn’t seem _too_ perturbed.

Michael remembers tucking himself away hurriedly and thinking that if _he_ felt insecure, it was _nothing_ compared to how self-conscious Calum suddenly looked.

Michael remembers half-sitting, half- _falling_ onto the carpet beside Calum and taking his face gently in his hands. He remembers how worried Calum looked for a moment, like he’d done something _wrong_ or whatever, and Michael gently pulling Calum into his lap (although he was careful to avoid his dick since that was feeling pretty damn sensitive right about now) and he remembers kissing Calum slow and deep, not even caring that he could taste _himself_ on Calum’s tongue which, okay, was pretty weird but it wasn’t necessarily _bad_ and –

Michael remembers pausing because Calum had just given this little moan and a tiny, aborted thrust against Michael’s thigh as his cheeks flamed with embarrassment, so hard he must be _hurting_. Michael remembers feeling abruptly shitty then because he hadn’t even given Calum a chance to _cum_ yet and, yep, it’s official, Michael Clifford has got to be the world’s worst boyfriend ever.

(He remembers how vehemently Calum disagreed with that when Michael repeated his worries later that night, and he remembers how Calum kissed all of his worries away, just like he always did.)

Michael remembers when he pressed one last, gentle kiss to Calum’s swollen lips before he pulled back and smiled at him. “Right, wanna shower with me, Cal? I wanna do that to you too.”

Michael remembers how Calum’s cheeks flushed again and how his pupils dilated a bit until his eyes were more _black_ than brown, and Michael remembers taking Calum’s hand and pulling him upstairs after Calum said: “Sure, let’s see what all the fuss is about.”

(Michael _also_  remembers Calum’s _far_ too loud: “ _OH FUCK, MIKEY_!” perhaps twenty minutes later but it was okay. No one else was around to hear them.)

*

Michael remembers when they were seventeen.

He remembers how Calum’s mum had _finally_ managed to talk some sense into her husband, and how the pair were currently having a rather stilted conversation over dinner in Michael’s house with Michael’s mum discussing their relationship, and Michael remembers how Mali was out with her boyfriend and how Michael was _supposed_ to be staying in his room and not over with Calum, so that he didn’t piss off Calum’s dad anymore than he did on a usual basis, pretty much by breathing.

Michael remembers sneaking out and scrambling over the fence in the garden anyway, and he remembers climbing the tree in Calum’s garden just like he _always_ did and almost falling again, like the first time, and he remembers how Calum’s hand closed around his arm and hauled him up, and the way Calum gently chastised him by saying: “You’ve _really_ got to stop doing that, Mikey”.

Michael remembers the way he smiled and shrugged, because if this talk with their parents went well, maybe they’d be allowed to be more _open_ about their relationship anyway, so it wouldn’t be an issue.

Michael remembers privately thinking that he was actually going to _miss_ climbing the tree like some peculiar, rather out-of-shape and _distinctly_ more colourful version of Romeo from the Shakespeare play they were currently studying in English literature class, but deciding to keep that to himself anyway.

Michael remembers how Calum fondly picked a twig out of his hair, along with what _might_ have been a blade or two of grass, and Michael remembers grinning at Calum as the younger boy surged forwards suddenly to kiss him, and Michael remembers how his hands dropped down to cup Calum’s bum as he pulled him closer.

“You sure you’re ready for this, Cal-Pal?” Michael remembers asking timidly because they’d had a certain, _mildly_ awkward conversation last night (the result of which had been Michael jerking off wildly alone in his bed because Calum couldn’t just _do_ things like that over Skype) and Michael wanted to make sure Calum was certain.

Michael remembers being almost _convinced_ that Calum was going to jokingly say: “ _I was born ready!_ ” and he wasn’t disappointed, but Michael’s worry didn’t begin to dissipate until Calum leant back, looked him in the eye and held his gaze. “Yes, Mikey,” Michael remembers him saying firmly. “I really, _really_ want you to fuck me.”

Michael remembers Calum stroking him through his trousers then and the way his knees went a little bit weak, and he remembers how Calum’s smug smile was tinged with a _tiny_ bit of worry but mostly just love and _want_.

“ _Please, Mikey_ ,” Michael remembers Calum saying imploringly, and then it was all a bit of a blur of Calum scrambling around in his bedside table for the condom and bottle of lube that they’d begged Ashton to buy for them – and yep, Michael is pretty sure that was the most awkward conversation of his _life_ , even if Ashton _did_ just go: “ _Aww_! That’s so cute! Hey, Lukey, come listen to this!” which was _so_ not what Michael and Calum had planned.

Michael remembers how Fall Out Boy was playing from Calum’s CD player as their clothes hit the floor, and Michael remembers how Calum stumbled when he was kicking his jeans off and how Michael tripped over Calum’s bass guitar where it was leaning against the desk, and Michael remembers being _pleased_ about that in a way, because it wouldn’t have been _them_ if they _hadn’t_.

He remembers how they kissed on the bed for a while, just touching and stroking, safe in the knowledge that their parents – or rather, Michael’s mum and Calum’s dad while his wife looked on wearily – wouldn’t be done arguing (sorry, ‘ _politely dining together_ ’) for a good few hours yet.

Michael remembers how he poured some of the lube onto his hand and coated his fingers with it when Calum urged him to, and he remembers how fucking _beautiful_ Calum looked when Michael gently slid his finger inside him. He remembers how Calum stiffened for a few moments before he accommodated it, and how he grunted out a soft: “ _Move_ ” and Michael remembers relishing the tiny sounds that escaped Calum as Michael fucked his finger into him slowly, watching with fascination when he pulled it out and watched Calum clench down around nothing.

“ _Stop fucking teasing me, you prick_!” Michael remembers Calum hissing at him as his hand slipped down to wrap around his dick, and Michael remembers pulling Calum’s hand away and grinning at the way Calum _moaned_ at that. (Michael remembers filing that away for consideration at a later date, and being fucking _glad_ he had, because Calum could be _so_ submissive when he wanted to be and Michael thought that was really, _really_ hot _._ )

Michael remembers when Calum was ready for a second finger, and then a third, and Michael remembers how the waiting and the preparing was actually making him _harder_ , despite how long he purposefully took because, if there was one thing Michael absolutely _refused_ to do, that was hurting Calum because of his carelessness.

Michael remembers when Calum started to press back against his fingers, whining for more, and Michael pushed them in a little further, searching for something he’d read about that he’d never been able to find on himself before and –

Michael remembers when his fingertips brushed the tiny bundle of nerves he’d been searching for and Calum _yelped_ , jolting like he’d been electrocuted even as, seemingly impossibly, he got _harder_.

Michael remembers how he did it again and took great delight in watching Calum squirm and beg, until suddenly Michael felt a bit bad because if this wasn’t teasing, he didn’t know what _was_ , and Michael’s thoughts were confirmed when Calum swore at him and pleaded with him to “ _just fucking do it, Mikey_!”

Michael remembers rolling the condom on with one hand and drizzling the lube on it as Calum’s hands twitched, clearly desperate to wrap themselves around his cock but aware that Michael had stopped him from doing it last time.

Michael remembers the way he held Calum’s gaze and a moment of unspoken communication passed between them as they lay tangled on the bed.

_Are you sure about this, Cal?_

**_One hundred percent, Mikey. Do it. I trust you._ **

“I love you,” Michael remembers whispering and the smile that touched Calum’s lips was the most beautiful thing Michael had ever seen, besides perhaps Calum himself.

“I love you too,” Calum had murmured. “Now, _please,_ for the love of all that’s good and holy in this damn world, _do it_.”

Michael remembers how he replaced his fingers with the head of his cock, and he remembers how he didn’t move at all until Calum had slowly relaxed again and pushed down a little to take more of Michael in.

“Does it hurt a lot, Cal?” Michael remembers asking anxiously when Calum’s face screwed up and he remembers how he was half out when Calum clenched down, dragging a moan out of both of them, so that Michael couldn’t escape.

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ , Clifford,” Michael remembers Calum saying. “It barely hurts at all and it’ll feel _fine_ in a minute. Just… just _wait_.”

Michael remembers when Calum took another inch in, and then another and another, and he remembers how Calum _kept_ sinking down until there was nothing left to take, and then they both stilled for a moment as they adjusted to the intense sensations.

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Michael remembers whispering because, wow, this was probably the best feeling in the world as Calum’s muscles fluttered around him, clearly still trying to adjust. “How’d you feel, Callie?”

Michael remembers Calum’s answer with perfect clarity, remembers the stirring in his stomach it invoked as he got even _harder_ , and the way Calum moaned at the combination of Michael inside of him and the burn finally receding and simply leaving _pleasure_ behind.

“ _Full_ ,” Calum had choked out. “ _Please, Mikey. Move_.”

Michael remembers rolling his hips hesitantly and the way they both groaned at the sensations, and Michael remembers how he pulled back slowly, only to thrust in just as gently. He remembers how Calum gripped his hips tightly after that – hard enough to bruise – and the way the younger boy spoke through gritted teeth as he spat out: “ _Move fucking faster, damnit_!” and Michael remembers how he complied without hesitation.

Michael remembers how the only sounds in the room were their laboured breaths and the songs playing in the quiet, the gentle slap of skin on skin and Calum’s gasps as Michael thrust in harder and deeper. Michael remembers how Calum clung to him and pressed messy kisses to Michael’s shoulder as Michael sucked at the skin on the other side of Calum’s neck, as he was so fond of doing, marking him with his teeth and licking the sting away afterwards.

Michael remembers how he hit that spot inside Calum that made him see stars again, and he remembers how Calum almost fucking _screamed_ as he started to push himself back to meet Michael, writhing around on his cock and half- _sobbing_ like he’d never felt anything so good in his life.

Michael remembers watching him in fucking _amazement_ before the pleasure became too much and he had to focus on simply keeping up a rhythm as he slammed his hips forwards again and again, groaning as heat coiled in his stomach, tighter and tighter.

Michael remembers wrapping his hand around Calum’s leaking cock when he felt it brush his stomach, and he remembers the way Calum cried out as he finally got some blessed _friction_ and thrust up into Michael’s fist and how, abruptly, everything was suddenly too much.

Michael remembers fighting against the feelings, _determined_ that Calum was going to cum first, and Michael remembers how Calum clenched down around him and how it dragged Michael’s orgasm out of him so hard he could only see _white_ , and Michael remembers slowly becoming aware of Calum fluttering tightly around him as he came all over himself and Michael’s hand.

Michael remembers gasping as he pulled out of Calum and the way the younger boy winced a little bit, and Michael remembers pressing gentle, sleepy kisses to Calum’s jaw as his fingers fluttered against Calum’s hole, and Michael remembers Calum’s exhausted, rueful smile as he edged away with a gentle: “Give me a minute, Mikey, _fuck_ ”, and Michael remembers the kiss Calum pressed to his lips and how Michael murmured out an awed: “ _Thank you_ ” that probably sounded really stupid given their situation.

He remembers how Calum rolled his eyes fondly and said: “That’s okay. I’m doing you next time though”, and Michael remembers the thrill of anticipation that couldn’t _quite_ compete with the tiredness he was suddenly feeling, and Michael remembers how his eyes started to slide shut as he breathed out a soft: “ _Anything for you, Cal_ ”.

Michael remembers how Calum settled down in his arms then, regardless of the mess they were both in, and Michael remembers how everything was quiet for a few moments before Calum murmured out a soft: “I love you, Mikey. You’re not going to leave me, are you?”

Michael remembers opening his eyes and pressing a gentle kiss on Calum’s lips, almost like a promise.

“I’m never going to leave you, Cal-Pal. Not in a million years.” Michael remembers pressing another kiss to Calum’s lips then and feeling him respond this time. “I love you too.”

Michael remembers how he tossed the condom into the bin and stroked the younger boy's hair as Calum snuggled down then and Michael remembers how he fell asleep, as comfortable in Calum’s arms as he always was, because Calum meant _safety_ and _home_ and _love_ , and he always would, as far as Michael was concerned.

Nothing else mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> I... don't have anything to say for myself.  
> I'M SORRY OKAY!  
> Please leave comments and kudos because I'm needy!  
> *hides under bed and refuses to come out*


End file.
